why i want sex - audio

The audio of my talk "Why I Want Sex" [mp3; 8.9mb] has been posted at the Illini Life website. Unfortunately the first five or so minutes seem to be cut off, so I'm posting the opening text here. The audio picks up where this leaves off. Enjoy. :)

I’ve decided to start writing an advice column.

I want to use a pseudonym. Something that sorta sounds like me, but isn’t my real name. And one of those photos that’s more of a silhouette allows you to determine that I’m a male, but not much else.

Did you know that Dear Abby and Ann Landers were twin sisters? Yep. And they were probably the best known newspaper columnists in the world when our parents were in high school. The competing advice duo grew up as best friends, but became almost enemies after their columns became syndicated in newspapers across the US – no paper carrying both at any given time. Ann Landers wrote for the Chicago Trib, and if you head up to the city, you can see her honorary street sign in front of the Trib tower on Michigan Ave, just north of the river.

How do I know this stuff?

Tonight’s topic is Sex. It’s embarrassing to talk about unless you’re Dr. Drew or you’re reading on the internet about it, and I felt SNG would be too intimate a setting to discuss this together. So in the interest of putting more distance between you and me, I thought that answering your written questions to:

Ask Christoph, PO Box 7101 Champaign, IL 61825

would be the way to go.

And fortunately, I have a number of letters that I, uh, you wrote. So let’s look at a few, shall we?

Dear Christoph,
Sex is always on my mind. I want it with somebody. Is this normal?
Aroused in Arizona.

Whoa. Okay, who thinks tonight might feel a bit awkward?

Let’s see if we can ease into it a little bit more – that’s not really using the stairs in the wading area – that’s pretty much the cannonball into the deep end. Let’s see.

Dear Christoph,
I’m uncomfortable with the idea that we’re talking about sex, and also that a number of things - including laughter or church - might associated with the topic. I’ve included a verse-of-the-day for you to read aloud, and I hope you’ll look into my full line of Christian vitamin products that I’m now selling at Spiritually Healthy Supplements.com.
Holy in Houston.

-> download audio [mp3 8.9mb]